Golfing Dollywood

Posted: Friday, January 14, 2011 at 10:59 am
By: Doug Lund
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For those who couldn’t care less about golf, there’s only one thing more boring than watching it on television and that’s having to endure somebody writing about it on his blog. But please bear with me for a minute if only to allow a chance to vent my frustrations about this blasted game..the playing of which is one of the reasons I’m down here in the desert each January. A week ago Wednesday playing with our regular group of Legion club members, I had an EAGLE on the very first hole; knocking in my second shot from 125 yards away. It thoroughly impressed my companions..many of whom are retired Chicago cops. But that turned out to be the high point of my round ending with a 91. The following week, after making a couple swing adjustments, I managed to improve my score by 8 shots. So I was filled with confidence when I joined up with my Brandon snowbird  buddies, Jerry, Digger and Pete, for a round of golf here.

golf one

Red Mountain Ranch in Mesa has until recently been a private country club but apparently for economic reasons is now open for public play and has pretty fair rates if you tee off late enough in the afternoon that you run the risk of not getting finished before dark. It is one of the strangest courses I’ve ever been on. A creation of the famous golf course designer, Pete Dye, it looks like an ocean of green on an extremely windy day. Mr. Dye must have been fantasizing about Dolly Parton when he dreamed up the layout because the fairways are filled with huge mounds that can send even a well struck ball shooting off in any direction. To make things even more complicated there are sand bunkers everywhere, big fairway walls made from thousands of railroad ties and elevated greens that were designed to make fat guys double check to make sure they brought along an adequate supply of nitro pills before attempting to scale them. 

golf twoThis is where I spent most of my day; far from the lush green hills  stranded in the desert dust surrounded by obstructions. I don’t remember which hole it was but after hitting a nice drive I sent my three wood shot into a location like this. I proceeded to hit a stake in front of me not once but twice. The second sent the ball sailing high into the the roof of a luxurious home to my right and bounced right into the swimming pool. From there I proceeded to hit two more trees before finally just picking up in frustration. It was fun to be with my friends again but such a sour outing on the course made me want to put away my clubs forever or toss them into one of the Pete Dye designed lakes that I splashed a few shots into.  So why is it that after a good night’s sleep I can’t wait to try it again on Wednesday?  Is this how heroin addicts feel?

Just a couple words about my last post which mentioned Keloland’s decision to revamp its web page leaving me the only regular blogger. Lots of you commented about Steve Hemmingsen’s disappearance. Well, in the comments section Steve himself explains his reasons for ending his participation. I hope that is the end of it. A few people who’ve tried to comment might be surprised that their views were not approved. Here’s why. If I write something that might be considered political or controversial, I will likely okay comments by those with differing opinions. I can take the heat. But I will NOT allow anyone to come on here anonymously making wild unfounded untrue accusations about me personally or the good people who run Keloland Television. There are lots of political blogs out there where you can scream and yell to your hearts content. So, move on..there’s nothing for you to see here..just the ramblings of a Babyboomer generation charter member who can’t figure out his golf game much less the validity of Obama care.


  1. Stuart Surma says:

    Doug, You shot a what!!! If you shot a 91-8= an 83 that is just terrific! Ex President Eisenhower- of WW11 fame- commander of the greatest allied forces on earth- could not break 100! I don’t golf much, but we golfed at Brainerd, Mn. on a par 3 course that was really fun for a beginner like me1 Stuart- take care!

  2. I’m happy to come accross some good information here. This business tends to result in people writing the same old regurgitated stuff all over the web.

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