Water On The Brain

Posted: Thursday, July 9, 2009 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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Shhhhhhh….don’t say it out loud or you might jinx it..but after many..many attempts it appears our talented Keloland webmaster, Jonathan, has figured a way to get rid of  most of  that spam that’s been infesting our blog world.
I’m not talking about that mystery meat they pulverize and squeeze into square tin cans at a plant in Austin, Minnesota. No, this Spam is the abuse of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast media, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk advertising messages by the hundreds which wind up clogging the comments section of our blogs.
Hemmingsen and I have been particular targets of these parasites and spend a considerable amount of time deleting their garbage.
So, thanks Johnathan..and your fellow webster, Karen Sherman, for giving these leaches the heave-ho..at least for now.
Well, with that out of the way, it’s on to today’s topic; water.
Not the biblical proportion downpours that have been keeping Trobec and the weather crew up till all hours lately. No it’s the obsession some of you have with drinking water…huge amounts of water and  your willingness to PAY for it at the store.
I’m not sure just when this infatuation with drinking copious amounts of bottled water started but marketing geniuses have turned it into a 12 billion dollar industry. They won’t rest until everybody’s pee has no color.
It could have been way back in the 70’s when all sorts of weird diet fads came out..including one by a Dr. Stillman who claimed you could lose weight fast by eating fewer carbohydrates and drinking water LOTS of water; a gallon or more each day..and that’s in addition to any other liquids you consume..like coffee or diet soda.
I tried it and did lose weight. But I think it was more from the exercise of running to the toilet and back every ten minutes because I have a bladder the size of a walnut.
 Water is good for you..we were told..flushes out the system. So people decided they needed to drink more of it and started filling gallon jugs at home to bring to work.
That’s when companies like Perrier invaded the United States claiming that tap water was vile stuff and for your own good health you should pick up a six pack of their pure naturally carbonated water which comes from a special deep well in the French countryside. 
Drinking Perrier, though expensive, became something of a status symbol purchased and consumed primarily by the yuppy crowd who’d drink it straight or mixed with a dash of 12 year old scotch at their high falootin’  parties. 
Before long, other companies, including Coke and Pepsi, wanted in on the market and started selling bottled water claiming it came from sparkling mountain springs or some other magically pure source. But after testing dozen and dozens of water brands..it turns out that every single one contains at least some degree of contaminants and 40% of the brands being sold is nothing more than water from a tap ..except 1,900 times more expensive.
I’ve heard a lot of people say they just don’t like tap water because they can taste the added fluoride in it.
I don’t know what fluoride tastes like but I do know that it is proven to be effective in healthy tooth development and preventing cavities.
Most bottled water doesn’t have fluoride so maybe we’re destined to end up like the British who have the most deformed teeth in the civilized world.
But water companies, like Evian, aren’t concerned. In fact, Evian has come up with a hilarious ad campaign aimed at younger H20 consumers..or at least their parents.
Click here to see what I mean.Efforts are currently underway in congress to force companies that sell bottled water to be more truthful in revealing the source and purity of their water sources.I hope our desert daughter in Phoenix is able to polish off her huge supply before she finds out it’s Salt River swill.

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