Archive for December 2008

Hi, I’m Doug..Welcome To ?? Mart!

Posted: Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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I’m just now starting to thaw out from spending the better part of an hour blowing the 1.5 inches of snow from my walk and driveway..along with some of my neighbor’s sidewalks. It’s times like this when I’m reminded of my Norwegian heritage; not because of my stout hardiness in cold weather but for being too dumb to crank the chute in a direction that my face isn’t always sprayed with a fine mist of wind driven snow.
About the only good thing about this morning’s outdoor experience..aside from getting some badly needed exercise (hey, come on, I have to walk behind the machine) is that I noticed my old Kelo-TV parka fits a lot looser than the last time I had it on back in March. Photo by Linda Lee Trudeau Lund who also dropped a couple sizes cutting carbsI know some of you followed my attempts to lose weight on the Atkins diet last summer. What I didn’t tell you is that, while I had clearly dropped a few pounds by being faithful to the low carb regimen, the results were pretty disappointing. So, lately I’ve just been trying to eat less..and the parka revelation this morning seemed to validate that effort.
Eating less might not be an option but a necessity if this recession (its okay to call it that now) goes on much longer. Maybe I’ll just spend more time talking with our financial planner. A visit with him last week was so disheartening that it killed my appetite.  “Doug,” he said, “you might have to consider getting a job to supplement things until your retirement investments turn around.” “Doing what?” I said. “ I’ll be 63 in January..I think my employment options are rather limited..and I draw the line at bagging groceries or welcoming customers to Wallyworld. So, I guess me and the missus will just have to squeak by on our monthly allowance from Uncle Sam and wait for everything to get better after B.H.O. takes the oath of office in January..just before the Vikings win the Super Bowl.
Hey, a guy can dream can’t he?

What’s In A Name?

Posted: Monday, December 1, 2008 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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“I know you but you don’t know me.”
I still hear that a lot when people bump into me at a restaurant, bar, some social function or when we’re traveling.   After 33 years of exposure on Keloland TV, folks have always figured they know me well enough to come over and say Hi..and I love it. The trouble is, there are plenty of people I do know..or should know..but whose names have mysteriously disappeared from my memory banks. It’s really nothing new.  For years I’ve called people “pal” or “dear” because, even though the face is familiar, I’ve forgotten their name. If it appears, though, that they’re on to me, I’ll just admit to having a “senior moment” and hope they’ll take pity and remind me who the heck they are.
It really got embarrassing over the weekend when after Carl Edman’s funeral, I ran into several guys at the VFW that I had known from playing in Carl’s golf group every weekend at Elmwood.Now these are fellas  I’d spent hours and hours with on the course but, even though it had been a few years since we’d seen each other,  I couldn’t remember most of their names.
“Hi Doug, how ya doin’?”  I can feel the sweat forming on my upper lip. “I’m great pal..how are you?” I’m not great, I’ve drawn a big blank again and these guys are all going to know it and figure me for a pathetic snob. Then finally, I spot someone whose name I “do” know; Greg Heineman, Sioux Falls businessman and owner of the Skyforce.  “Greg, how’s the Force lookin’ this year? Are you still as big a Notre Dame fan as always?”Greg gave me kind of a strange look and said, “yeah, fine..I guess.”  I was asking him about his golf game and his nice house on Phillips Avenue when my friend Lyle (I think that’s his name) grabbed my arm and said he was ready to head out. Since Lyle was driving and had picked me up, I told Greg goodbye , finished my drink and left. On the way home, Lyle asked who I thought I was talking to. “Uh, Greg Heineman, of course. You know him.”
“Yes, I do,” said Lyle, “and that wasn’t Greg Heineman!”
When I was recounting this humiliating experience for my wife she said, “ Well, I wasn’t going to mention it but last night at Mom’s birthday party you asked my sister how her daughter Amanda was doing.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Her name is Abbey!”
“You know,” I said,  “Alzheimer’s is nothing to laugh about, Lin…ah…er..um..Dear.”