A Little Slice of Heaven

Posted: Monday, August 4, 2008 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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Lund at Large
My back is really aching after playing golf every day this past week. It’s not that I want to play so much, you understand, I’m retired and it’s the law.
On several occasions recently, my friend Denny Graves and I have teed ‘em up. We play to about the same handicap and have tested our limited skills at the Westward Ho Country Club, Brandon Golf Course, Spring Creek, Watertown Muni, Six Mile Creek in White and at Rocky Run in Dell Rapids. (more about that in a minute)
On each occasion, the weather has been absolutely perfect for golf; a rarity in these parts, and without fail one of us will comment during  a round about how the lush, green, picturesque pastoral settings of golf courses must be what heaven is like. “Maybe without all the swearing,” Denny says. The view from 18 toward the clubhouse; heavenly.It’s true. Despite a concentrated effort to keep emotions in check after a lousy shot or missed putt, bad language..in varying degrees of severity..often, and uncontrollably,  boils up and erupts from our lips.
Oh sure, we are always repentant after each profane outburst; asking that our French be pardoned as if the French had anything to do with it; Je pue au golf et blâme le diable. (I stink at golf and blame the devil.)
Yes, it’s true. I do blame the evil one. I’m convinced that Beelzebub himself…the great deceiver..lurks amid the serine settings of golf courses just waiting for the chance to make us forsake all the principles we’ve held dear since Sunday School.
Dell Rapids..deceptively beautiful.He has his favorite hang outs and seems to be fond of the number twelve.
For example, hole number 12 at Spring Creek where Lucifer causes about  75 percent of the balls to go flying into the creek in front and to the left or into the trees on the right. It’s the same story at number 12 at Willow Run and at 12 in Brandon except its more water on the right instead of trees. These holes have caused young ministers fresh out of seminary to lose composure, take the Lord’s name in vane and fling drivers up to a hundred yards or more.
But perhaps nowhere will you hear George Carlin’s 7 words you can’t say on television more often than on hole number 16 at Dell Rapids.It’s beautiful to behold with a babbling brook meandering through the fairway but it is the gateway to hell. Not only do you have to cross the water three times you must also hit a small green that slopes forward. Dell Rapids #16. The devil lives here.
After Denny and I both took triple bogy eights.. spoiling our scores for the day..we laughed sarcastically over those earlier comments we’d made about golf courses being a little slice of heaven on earth. 
Not today &*%$!*^&%!!
Pardon my French.

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