Some Food for Thought

Posted: Thursday, April 24, 2008 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittensBright copper kettles and warm woolen mittensBrown paper packages tied up with stringsThese are a few of my favorite things."
I haven’t seen the movie, "The Sound of Music" in why is that song running over and over through my head? I like the tune okay but can’t possibily imagine what caused it suddenly pop from the subconscious to the conscious between the time I fell asleep last night until I awoke this morning. I did see a Julie Andrews biography..but that was a couple weeks ago.
I have been thinking about some of my least favorite things lately. Maybe that’s it. More specifically, foods that most people like and think I’m supposed to like too but don’t.
Olive oil, for example. I’ve been paying through the nose for extra virgin olive oil at the store because all the TV chefs use it and it’s supposed to be good for you. We ran out of it the other day so I used butter and a little corn oil to cook some eggs. They were delicious! I sautéed some onions and peppers the same way. Terrific! No funny aftertaste. I also don’t like bread dipped in olive oil at Italian restaurants that everybody seems to go gah gah over. Cilantro is another alleged food item that I don’t like. To me, this popular herb used primarily  in Mexican, Italian and Middle Eastern cooking, tastes like someone peeled soap chips onto my enchilada.  I’m not alone in this. The beloved TVchef Julia Child enjoyed eating most everything but detested cilantro. There’s even an “I hate cilantro” website.If  I’m served a steak like this I see red.You can put rare meat on my yuk list as well. My friend Bob Miller owns the Brandon Steak House and just shakes his head in disgust when I order a filet “medium well.” “That’s a terrible thing to do to a nice piece of meat,” he’ll say. I’ll have to butterfly it.”  “Fine,” I’ll tell him as he goes back into the kitchen muttering something that sounds like what Ralphie said in “A Christmas Story” when he dropped the lug nuts.
Our daughter, Christy and my friend Hemmingsen are two examples of people who believe that fire is the enemy of a steak and (I think just to show off) will spend several minutes explaining to the server just how rare they really do want their meat…no more than 30 seconds per side..or some such nonsense. Again, this is clearly to demonstrate some sort of bravado that I can’t explain.If I had to look down at a plate with a hunk of luke-warm flesh swimming in a puddle of blood..I’d become a vegetarian faster than you could say e-coli.
I don’t like orange juice with pulp, Imitation Baileys Irish Cream, (yes, there is a difference) anything seasoned with chili peppers, (Why should eating be painful?) bananas, (just something about the texture that automatically induces gagging.) and, perhaps most controversial of all; seafood!
How can someone of my ancestry not like fish?
I could lose a lot of weight if all there was in the world to eat were lobsters, oysters, crabs, salmon or most anything that lives in the water…including lutefisk!  I don’t mind a tuna sandwich; breaded shrimp or fish without the bones dipped in beer batter and deep fried. But nibbling on a trout that’s presented on a plate with it’s skin still attached and it’s dead black eyes staring back just creeps me out. So does the thought of eating raw oysters: having them slide off the half shell down your throat and then bragging to your buddies how many you ate and how great they were while never having chewed a one.. And, hey, you can call that liquid these grey creatures live in “oyster liquor” if you want to but we all know it’s just slime.I suppose I’ve made a few of you angry by showing such disrespect for your favorite culinary cuisines. Well, I’m sorry. And to apologize, here’s a cheery little tune to run through YOUR head for a few days.
You’re welcome. it’s a world of laughter, a world or tearsits a world of hopes, its a world of fearthere,s so much that we sharethat its time we’re awareits a small world after allCHORUS:its a small world after allits a small world after allits a small world after allits a small, small world

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