Lund Is Large

Posted: Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 12:00 am
By: Doug Lund
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I’m fat
There I said it.
I believe some people, including me, are predisposed to be fat. That’s not an excuse, just an observation that I’m sure Jaine Andrews could confirm from some of her Healthbeat reports..especially her on-going saga of Patrick Deuel, the Valentine, Nebraska man who came out of the chute fat and kept gaining weight until he finally had to be hauled away to the hospital in a truck.  
I’ve been self conscious about being fat since grade school. I even remember spending my hard earned lawn mowing money on Metracal, the first weight-loss shake mix.  It tasted more like chalk than chocolate. I did lose a few pounds. Not from the product but the exercise gained from running to the bathroom all the time.
There aren’t too many diets I haven’t tried including “Ayds” which was an expensive appetite-suppressant candy that exploded onto the market in the 70’s but disappeared overnight when a disastrous epidemic with the same name became part of our national lexicon.
I’m not in camp with those who believe every bad habit..including a “disease” but everyone’s chemical make-up is different and for some, food is as addictive as cocaine.
We all know those people with the metabolism of a hummingbird who can gorge themselves and not gain an ounce while the rest of us need only sniff the caramel rolls baking away at HyVee  and have to loosen our belt a notch.
There is something in my genes that keeps me from “wearing” jeans..even the relaxed fit.
Oh, they probably make blue jeans in my size but then the hummingbird people use a branding iron to print that waist size on a piece of leather then stitch it on the back pocket for everyone to see and snicker.How embarrassing.
Oh, I have lost weight before.
Nutri System worked for a while..all three times I was on it.
Hemmingsen and I did the hypnosis thing one time. All he did was fall asleep in the chair during his sessions.
I managed to lose 20 pounds but not because of any post hypnotic suggestion given during a trance.  I starved for several days so as not to be embarrassed in front of the shrink at my weekly weigh-ins.
I had some success with the Atkins low carb diet but there were times I would have crawled over a mile of sizzling buttery steaks to get to a bowl of spaghetti or slice of toast or a pancake or a muffin with a tall glass of milk to wash it down.
I know, I know..the answer is simple. Just make the decision to eat healthy.. eat less and exercise. The pounds will come off and you’ll finally be happy.
When you say that to a fat person we figure you are one of the hummingbird people.
You don’t realize that many of us have tried and failed and tried again..and again and again..
We beat ourselves up over these failures and often take refuge in food disregarding the health dangers and warnings.
Never the less, I’ve decided to take one more shot at becoming the slender healthy gentleman I wish I was instead of the elderly fat dude I’ve become whose knees hurt and who is looking at an early dirt nap unless changes are made.
I’d love to hear any comments or experiences you dear readers may have that might help me and perhaps others make the journey to slimmerdom as un-traumatic and successful as possible.
Besides my wife is cleaning closets and wants to get rid of all my clothes that don’t fit.
Goodwill will have to make two trips to our house.

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