Beauty queen turned governor turned quitter turned older version of Paris Hilton–Sarah Palin–is signing her new coloring book tomorrow tonight at the Barnes and Noble in Sioux Falls.

And our local media will be falling all over itself to get some mindless yet innocuous comment from her babiliciousness for the night’s ten p.m. “news” and Monday’s fishwrap.  (Of course, no scorn is included for KELOLAND, the news leader of, well, KELOLAND.)

Don’t expect any hard questions.  That’s not the South Dakota media’s way.  Its way is to be nice–particularly to the famous and the powerful when they parachute into our backyard.

Not that I’d walk across the street see ex-Governor You Betcha, but if I did, here are five questions I’d ask her:

1.  Did you pay someone to load Sen. John McCain’s Arnold Palmer with Viagra so he’d sproing the Vice Presidential nomination on you?

2.  Do you think there will come a time in your life when you will quit acting like a beauty queen and say something that is both: A. Intelligible; and B. Not some platitude?

3.  How exactly did you “help Alaska” by resigning your office of governor before the end of your term?

4.  Do you really think it was a good idea while Governor to address an Alaskan group that was calling for the secession of Alaska from the United States?  Do you know that the last time states tried that we had this thing called the Civil War?

5.  People started lining up this morning to read your new coloring book.  Would you wait in line that long to read your book?

And a bonus question:

You obviously have a thing for guys named Todd.  What are you doing after the book signing, don’t you know?

Don’t let the private jet hatch hit you on your butt on your way out of town, Sarah baby!

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Photo of Sarah Palin used under the following license:

About Todd Epp:

Todd D. Epp is a partner at Galland Law Firm, P.C. in Sioux Falls, SD where he practices in the areas of criminal law, intellectual property, employment law, and Social Security. His outside interests include soccer, progressive politics, writing poetry, Buddhism, and the Civil Air Patrol. His personal blog, The Middle Border Sun, is located at http://www.middlebordersun.com.

Tags: Alaska, Barnes & Noble, John McCain, journalism, MSM, Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin, South Dakota